2015 BLOG ASSIGNMENT #8 Read How to Raise an Adult on Technology. Write a miniskirt response to the article. Advertisements Like this:Like Loading... Related 21 Comments I feel like social media is good and bad for parenting, you can’t really pick a side. Social media is good for parenting because some teenagers need to be monitored for many reasons teenagers do dumb things and need to know that their parents or legal guardians are watching them so they don’t do dumb things. I also feel like as a teenager social media is bad for parenting because if you are being monitored then you know that your are being watched by your parents and watching everything you post, like, and share. Teenagers should let the parents have their password because again teenagers are dumb and might do something on social media. I believe social media is good for parenting. The article “How To Raise A Parent on Technology,” by Mary Hossfeld, describes an interview with Julie Lythcott-Haims discussing the parental views on developing technologies. One specific part of the discussion revolves around the topic of whether or not parents should be able to contact the teachers of their children “24/7”. Lythcott-Haims responded to this topic by stating her opposition to the idea. She gave evidence to her opinion by describing how overwhelming and distracting it is for teachers to be constantly messaged and contacted by parents. Lythcott-Haims expressed that by being constantly contactable by parents, teachers will spend more time responding to concerned parents than actually teaching their students. In order to support her claims, she also questions the responsibility of students and the need to “micromanage.” I personally agree with Lythcott-Haims. I feel that it should be the responsibility of the students to settle any concerns that their parents might have, before it even becomes a concern. For example students should be willing to work on strengthening poor grades before being lectured about it by their parents. If parents are constantly “micromanaging” their children, then their children will not know how to solve problems by themselves in the future. I also feel that it is the responsibility of the student to be the link that bonds the teacher and the parent. I do not think that parents and teachers should be given much time to discuss issues involving minor issues because, similarly to the ideas of Lythcott-Haims, I feel that it is the responsibility of students to be engaged in the wellness of their academic performances. Technology is very much a double edged sword. And looking at both edges, it’s really all about how the proverbial sword is wielded. The growing technological movement is all about connections. How do people connect to each other, to the world, to movements, to ideas? How can technology change the way people connect with the aforementioned things? No matter how it gets sliced, technology rallies around these questions. On one hand, technology is giving people the power to reach out all over the globe and make powerful connections. On the other hand, technology is killing people’s ability to make connections; personal connections. Technology is becoming a crutch that people can’t function without. Personally connecting with someone face to face is fast becoming a dying art. Parents using technology can be divided in much the very same way. On the side of making physical connections, parents can constantly connect to their children in several different manners; through the children themselves, through their education, and through their location. They can directly contact kids through texts, emails, and phone calls. Education and a parent’s new ability to monitor progress is another facet of physical engagement. Parents can get update through teachers and online grade checks, making them in some ways more knowledgeable on their children’s schooling. Those same points bleed into negative options on the other side of technology. The education progress checks can lead parents to form conclusions before talking to their child and truly making an attempt to understand. Children can misunderstand the values parents place on education. But the truly crippling effect is that children can come to rely on having their parents just a few buttons away at any given moment. Children do not learn to stumble their way through life making connections with others and finding the path, however minute, on their own. Technology encourages a kind on dependency that is hard to break out of. But that’s the danger of parents wielding the technological sword against their children. “How to Raise an Adult on Technology”, by Mary Hossfeld, is an article that details the struggles of parents in a tech-savvy world, predominantly the younger generation. The article is aimed towards adults and parents who are incompetent in the decisions of technology usage of their children. Hossfeld uses an example of an ideal adult who knows the technological world; that ideal adult is Julie Lythcott-Haims, former Stanford University Associate Vice Provost for Undergraduate Education and Stanford’s first Dean of Freshmen. Lythcott-Haims perfectly explains how adults should behave in their children’s tech usage in her novel, How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success. She is interviewed and asked a series of questions pertaining on how an adult should behave with technology. Lythcott-Haims answers in her view on how a parent should be tech-competent and whether or not the parent should keep a watchful eye on their child’s tech usage. For example, when asked whether children should be “policed” on social media, Lythcott-Haims clearly states children should not be supervised on social media at first, but when the child misuses the privilege of being on social media, that child needs to be supervised. She then asserts that there needs to be a trust between the child and the parent. With that trust, both child and parent are able to communicate more successfully. I strongly agree with the purpose of the article. Technology grows rapidly and parents are commonly left in the dark. Moreover, Lythcott-Haims says,” Let technology stimulate their curiosity, expand their creativity, deliver information, connect them to humans, and develop their independence, not become a crutch or a tool for permanent infantilizing” (How to Raise an Adult on Technology). She wants children to benefit the usage of technology, not worry over the “policing” by their parents. Children need to be independent to grow just like their parents. Technology is a good concept for the future to grow, especially for young mind and that is what Lythcott-Haims aims to do for parents and children alike. Keeping Up With Technology The general statement made by Mary Hossfeld in her article, “How to Raise an Adult on Technology,” is that most parents cannot keep up with current technology. More specifically, Hossfeld talks about her concern on how a parent should use technology to connect with their kids. After stating her concerns, she then introduces Lythcott-Haims. She provides the readers with context from an interview with Lythcott-Haims. In the interview, Lythcott-Haims suggests that technology can be a good thing; however parents and kids need to learn how to use it with balance. Through the interview, Hossfeld intends to help parents to keep up with technology and use it not only for their purposes but also their kids’. In my view, Mary Hossfeld has done a great job delivering her message because of how she connects to the reader. She simply states that she is also a mother; by doing so, she connects with the intended readers, parents. More specifically, I believe that reading this article, parents can learn a few things about what to do and what not to do with today’s generation of children through technology. For example, one of the interview questions asks about GPS tracking devices on the cellphone and how parents can use it for emergencies. Many parents would argue with Lythcott-Haims answer saying that parents should not be tracking their kids; however she compares the use of GPS tracking devices to putting kids on leashes. According to her, most parents use the excuse of “emergency” to get their kids agree with the idea of this GPS app. She then goes on saying that our sense of “emergency” has changed throughout the years. I agree with Lythcott-Haims and believe that parents should not be tracking down their kids. It could make kids feel like their own parents’ do not trust them and possibly make them feel like they have no freedom. Also, from personal experience, parents should have a strong faith and trust in their kids to do the right thing. My parents have thought of using a tracking GPS device since I go out a lot but after a talk over the dinner table we concluded that it is best not to use GPS tracking devices. It is an invasion of privacy and would have made me feel uncomfortable. Most kids that have trust issues with their parents usually end up having a bad relationship with their parents. However, since my parents showed they trust me, they have given me no reason to do things behind their backs. Instead of using technology to track each other, we communicate through text messages which seem to be just as efficient. Therefore, I agree with Lythcott-Haims on this specific topic and believe that throughout the whole interview she has been able to deliver her view on this topic to the audience, specifically parents. Rising technology always presents itself with both the benefits and the drawbacks. Depending on how the technology is used, it can have the potential of pushing people forward or holding them back. Cell phones and emails have greatly improved the efficiency of communication and accessibility to others. Progress in technology is almost completely inevitable. As parents are getting more engaged into technology, the issue on how to apply the information into parenting arises. On one side, the parents have greatly benefited from the technological advancement. Most parents want their children to succeed and be a functional part of society. Checking progress in school is one advantage. They are able to have more access to a teacher to monitor their children’s grades to know how well they are doing in school. It allows the parent to be more involved with their child and it allows them to make sure the children are not doing something inappropriate. In the case of an emergency, they are able to contact them to see where they are and make sure they are safe. However, it also has cut some communication and life skill lessons off. This side rears technology’s ugly head. Constant access to grades and monitoring every assignment done could lead to more harm than good. It implicates that the parents care too much about the grades and not the learning. Parents checking or stalking their child on social media takes away the independence from them. The child could start fearing that their parents could be looking at any moment. Monitoring every movement or location they are at also takes away independence that they would require to learn for adulthood. Some of the children having constant access to their parents could cause a dependency on them and withdraw them from thinking logically. There is a thin line between concern for someone and obsession. One of the best possible solutions is for the adults to trust in the child and give them privacy unless they give them a reason not to, such as lying. Allowing teenagers’ independence gives them the opportunity to grow as individuals. Managing and monitoring the lives of their teenagers prevents their growth. Parents should allow their children to learn and problem solve for them. Doing so, would allow the children to truly be a positive addition to society. Technology is a great benefit if used correctly. Should parents keep track of what their children do and post on social media? There is different ways that people feel about this topic. One it can be a good thing for them to keep track of them because then they’re able to keep them safe from people who are trying to get information from them or anything that can happen. This article succeeded on putting the point through people’s minds. The main audience for this article are parents ” How can we use technology to be better, smarter, more thoughtful parents?” and this article is also used to tell parents that they don’t have to necessarily worry about their kids not calling them in three hours or having to put a GPS device so they know where their children are. They have to know how to trust their kids and not worry. And trust them on social media to trust that they aren’t going to post anything that they shouldn’t be. The use of technology from cell phones, computers, or even tablets are used so much differently between parents and child. Some parents do not even know how to use the device compared to their child who can be at least 10 years old. For example, if we use Apple laptops for example, there is a higher rate of the children who uses it to know more of the commands than parents. Even though this does not sound like a big thing, but the uses of these things is to simplify our lives and the computer. If its not computers than its cell phones. Not only are some parents “slow-paced” in computers or laptops, but then there are the smart phones. On my behalf, my parents have very nice phones, but there are times where do not know how to use it. My parents are in between old-fashioned and advanced. Most of the time my dad needs help saving contacts on his phone. There are also times where my mom needs help saving a picture from her phone. These are things that seem little to teenagers or children, but seem very big to the parents. The title of this article is “How to Raise an Adult on Technology”, some ways to actually do this is to set the parent to the right phone. It does not matter if there are new phones like the iPhones or Androids, but choose the phones for your parents where the settings and programming will be easy for your parent. When it comes to terms of social media and parents allowing their kids to use or not, or even trust them with it. I believe that there should be trust permitted and if things get out of hand, have someone report to their parents. But then there are times, when social media separates people for the real world. We are too focused on, “When is the iPhone 7 coming out?” rather than asking, “How was your day?”. Even though that’s not the point to the topic, but this a problem that technology does to us. Lastly, I believe I strongly agree with the purpose of the article. Technology grows rapidly and parents cannot keep up with it. What’s the solution, have parents choose phones not too advanced, but something easy too use. Julie Lythcott-Haims, Stanford’s first Dean of Freshmen, commented in the article about how a child’s technological connectivity can be positive, “Let technology stimulate their curiosity, expand their creativity, deliver information, connect them to humans, and develop their independence, not become a crutch or a tool for permanent infantilizing.” The main concerns discussed in the article, “How to Raise an Adult on Technology” were how involved parents should be in their children’s digital life and to what extent is technology beneficial or harmful to their children’s lives. This article made me believe that there needs to be good balance between parents’ involvement regarding their children’s use of technology. Parents should not be ignorant of the technologies, social media, and digital life that their children are involved in. They should be aware of what type of websites their children are using and how their child is displaying themselves on the Internet. However like Lycthcott-Haims states in the article, “I see social media as today’s equivalent of notes passed in class and other types of teen-to-teen communication. I wouldn’t dream of trolling their accounts.” Parents should know what boundaries not to cross with their children’s digital life. After all they wouldn’t have wanted their parents listening in on their phone calls with their friends or reading the notes they passed around in class. As a suggestion, parents should set guidelines and rules for their child to follow in their digital life. Additionally, parents need to take a step back sometimes and ask themselves, “Just because new technology permits me to do this, should I?” Just because new technology enables parents to check on their child’s progress in school on a day to day basis, should I scold them for this low grade they got on their math quiz yesterday? Most technologically up to date parents wouldn’t even bother thinking about that, they would just go to the child and bombard them with questions of why they are failing. In order for parents to utilize their technological tools advantageously, they need to use them strategically. They should approach their child by asking them about how they’re doing in school and get the story of their progress from the child themselves, not by what numbers on a computer screen tell them. Ultimately this article tells me that parents should utilize and become knowledgable about the technology, social media, and websites that their children can access at their fingertips. But they shouldn’t let technology ruin the relationships with their children. The actions that children and parents take with technology in hand will either deepen or harm their relationship with each other. After reading this article, I feel that technology should connect a person with another and not hinder that connection. At the beginning of the article, Mary Hossfeld raises questions of how involved she should be in her kids’ digital lives such as, “Do I give my kids too much freedom around tech, or not enough? Should I be more up-to-speed about their online behaviors—in school and out—or less?” These questions are all centered around determining how much parents should trust their children. Determining boundaries for children may be necessary but this article did more than give insight on how to regulate a child’s social media. This article exposed how dysfunctional the average relationship between a parent and a modern child is. The fact that there is a constant struggle between a parent’s need to hover over every aspect of their children’s lives and a child’s need to break free from the bonds of their parents is sad because both parties really want to succeed and be happy. These two things can in fact co-exist without the tension between parent and child. Understandably, a child failing is “our worst fear as parents”. But this fear is what turns a caring parent into a parent that strives to monitor and police every aspect of their children’s life. In reaction to this, teens seek a level of independence that is dangerous and unrealistic. What is created is a cycle of intensified supervision from parents and a further withdrawal by children. Hossfeld hits it home, however, when she says, “We can’t force kids to be accountable or responsible.” The solution to this problem is more than just compromise. “Even if they fail,” says Hossfeld, “that becomes a crucial, teachable moment.” Parents need to understand their children, not fight the mannerisms of their generation. And children need to trust their parents and the boundaries they set. The Tao of Parenting in the Technological Era In “How to Raise an Adult on Technology”, Mary Hossfeld explores the idea of the extent of parenting with technology. At the beginning of the article she ponders over whether she is too strict or too lenient with technology. This passage suggest that the author is exploring new ideals, in which a happy medium can be found. In conclusion the article’s belief is that there is a fine line needs to be found when it comes to parenting your child with their technology. I strongly agree with this article. Although as a teenager myself, i would like to have unlimited unrestricted access to technology, I understand and accept why this is not feasible. The article states, “For example, I know my own teens absolutely hate to make a phone call to a stranger, such as calling a store to see if it carries a particular item.” I can relate to that wholly, I absolutely dread making phone calls to stores. I understand that it is normal and their job to help, but i cannot help but feel awkward and want to avoid the situation. However, I do believe that a mix of real world communication and technological communication is the way to go. This quote from the article really puts my opinion into words. “Let technology stimulate their curiosity, expand their creativity, deliver information, connect them to humans, and develop their independence, not become a crutch or a tool for permanent infantilizing.” In the end, I agree, it is undetermined whether too much technology is good or bad, but that there are definite major drawbacks. I have to agree with the author, there are benefits to be reaped from technology, but ensuring your child’s growth and development is key. The article, How to Raise an Adult on Technology written by Mary Hossfeld, was based on a question and answer session with Julie Lythcott-Haims, former Stanford University Associate Vice Provost for Undergraduate Education and Stanford’s first Dean of Freshmen. She was asked about the impact technology has had on modern parenting. The general argument made by Lythcott-Haims is that parents are becoming too focused on monitoring their children’s every move. Some parents even go as far as forcing their children to give them all their passwords or installing a GPS app on their phones. More specifically, Lythcott-Haims mentions that with parents being so protective and sheltering their kids, the kids in turn are becoming more dependent and expect their parents to help with everything. She says, “Kids who grows up tethered to a parent grow to fear the world, and grow to feel unsafe unless they are by your side or connected to you by cell phone. Let technology stimulate their curiosity, expand their creativity, deliver information, connect them to humans, and develop their independence, not become a crutch or a tool for permanent infantilizing.” In this passage, Lythcott-Haims is suggesting that parents’ need to keep tabs on their kids at all times is just creating dependent teenagers not ready for the real world. I agree with Julie Lythcott-Haims’ point of view, because my parents are very protective of me and sometimes I feel like that does not let me grow up and I’m worried that in college I will not know what to do or how to act. Like the examples Lythcott-Haims gave, my parent check my grades monthly, are friends with me on Facebook, and made me install a GPS app. I know that there are many parents like this who are worried their kids will make bad choices, some more extreme than others, but maybe if they knew what their actions were resulting in, they would take a step back. Overall, I conclude that parents have a right to be worried, but they should read an article similar to this one just to see the consequences of their actions. Parents and Technology In this society, technology is mostly used among the adolescents and young adults. The age range would be from five years old to early thirties. Mary Hossefield brings up a question in the beginning of the article as a mother asking,” Do I give my kids too much freedom around tech, or not enough? Should I be more up-to-speed about their online behaviors—in school and out—or less?” What she is trying to imply is that, does she trust within her children and social media? Most teenagers say,”Adults shouldn’t be able to have social media, they will ruin everything.” It’s not a bad idea to have parents get social media accounts because there are a lot of things that are said in social media but not said in person. There has to be a good balance between the parents and technology. Not everyone can pick it up as quickly as a teenager. Parents should be aware of what technology their children are using. For example, there is an experiment on Youtube called “The Dangers of Social Media (Child Predator Social Experiment).” The man behind this is named Coby Persin. Persin decided to do a social experiment and wanted to know if people would meet up with him after setting up a fake account. He contacted the victims’ parents for permission and wanted to have the parents there when the victim gets “kidnapped.” Persin had at least five teenage girls as victims and he made a fake account saying, “Hi I’m new to the neighborhood and I would like to meet up with you.” Eventually the victim would agree to meet up with him. As it progresses the victim meets with Persin and gets scared and not knowing what to do because he didn’t look like his fake account. Then the victim’s parents would show up mad and upset at them. Parents should be able to check in with their child and see if they are not doing anything dangerous or idiotic. The social experiment is something to consider to watch. Technology should be used wisely or things can go bad. This article is intended for the adults but more specifically the parents. “How can we use technology to be better, smarter, more thoughtful parents?” Lythcott-Haims responded with,”Kids today lack basic life skills because we’re doing so many things for them well past the age when they need our help.” Hossefield asked Haims, “We no longer have to wait for parent-teacher conferences to get a glimpse of our kids’ academic lives. In some cases, parents can even check their children’s GPAs online daily, read assignments, etc. Is this too much of a good thing?” Haims said, ” It’s too much. When we check up on our kids’ grades weekly or daily, and then by extension comment upon the results to our kids, or worse, grill them, we teach our kids that all that matters are their grades and scores, not their learning, and that their worth as humans is a function of their grades and scores. We behave as if every assignment is a make-or-break moment for their future. Kids wither under that kind of pressure. It completely stresses them out and zaps a love of learning right out of them.” That is true, many schools have set up online grading systems for students and parents. For parents to constantly be on their case about their grades will lead the student more stress. Parents need to understand that they have to have boundaries when it comes to their child’s privacy, if children respect their parents, their parents should return the favor. In our ever-growing world of technology, issues regarding parents, children, and the relationship between them continue to increase. In the article “How to Raise an Adult on Technology” by Mary Hosfeld, the impact of 21st century technology has on parenting is discussed through Julie Lythcott- Haims a Stanford Dean. Lythcott- Haims begins with answering a question about parent-teacher communication and how that has changed as the years have gone by. She writes, “We can’t force kids to be accountable or responsible-they must learn those critical traits on their own.” I find this to be very relatable and true, as children age and go from teens to adults, parents need to allow them freedom and make them accountable and responsible for their actions. As the article continues, points about parents and technology are mentioned; this passage of the article was my favorite and the most thought provoking. From personal experience I can definitely say that parents who constantly monitor their children’s social media and cellphone make their children feel as if they are on a leash or they do not have enough freedom. Not only does is hurt their children’s feelings by making them feel untrustworthy, but it also ruins the relationship between parent and child. Like the article mentions, guidelines and expectations for privacy are helpful, and once those are broken monitoring should begin. By doing this, the crucial relationship between a parent and child does not fall apart. I believe the problem with parents today is the fact that they do not know what new app or social media we are using so they resort to hovering, when in reality they should step back, educate themselves, and allow their kids the freedom they deserve. Lythcott- Haims says “Kids who grow up tethered to a parent grow to fear the world”, I agree with this statement and I believe the solution to this problem, like the article suggests, is to “Let technology stimulate curiosity, expand their creativity, deliver information, connect them to humans, and develop their independence.” Social media is the cheesecake of parenting: it is really good but can be bad for you. When it comes to social media, it is the same for everything else that parents do which is to act according to their child. If their child does not normally do anything bad, then privacy should be respected. On the other hand, if their child is a delinquent, then parents should monitor their child’s social media to ensure that nothing from social media is contributing to their child’s delinquency. However, there is such a thing as going too far; one should not constantly check their child’s social media all the time because unless their child is in some way worse than a just a mere delinquent, they are entitled to at least some degree of privacy. When it comes to a child’s grades, that can be downright stressful. Always knowing student’s grades often leads to parents putting too much pressure on their kids. Kids, teenagers especially, have enough stress as it is without parents adding extra pressure for grades. Lastly, parents just need to have a little leeway with technology and not overuse it because it is there and you can use it. That can lead not only to stress, but also trust issues and various other problems within the parent-child relationship. In the beginning Mary Hossfeld was explaining that she doesn’t know what are the boundaries on protecting her children while giving them their privacy from the online threats, which she doesn’t understand yet. She then raise the question that many parents think about as well. “Do I give my kids too much freedom around tech, or not enough?” She then mentions her friend Julie Lythcott-Haims, who is a mother of two but as well as the Stanford’s first dean of freshmen. She wanted to know about the technology impact on modern parenting and how should she handed some situations with her children’s. Lythcott-Haims makes pretty good points over the article that I agree with. Parents do need to trust and give their children’s privacy in the new technology world. Parents shouldn’t be checking their kids social media twenty-four seven or asking them their passwords, but should be aware of what kind of social media their kids are on. When we talk about checking their grades, it’s a whole other situation. Parents should get their kids GPA once in a while but not how the article says “daily”. I finish this blog with a quote that was said in the end of the article “Remember your own childhood—the freedoms you enjoyed and the degree of independence you experienced. Believe it or not, those things helped make you who you are. Why do you want less for your own kid?” While this article does bring up many true and important facts about parenting in the 21st century, there is a reoccurring theme that I see often and find quite problematic. The woman who is answering the questions, Julie Lythcott-Haims who is a former Stanford University Associate Vice Provost for Undergraduate Education and Stanford’s first Dean of Freshmen, infers that technology is a crutch and is destroying the current generations communication skills. While to an outsider we may seem like a bunch of incompetent children who lack basic social skills, but with this technology, we have created our own form of communication. Lythcott-Haims said, “I am already worried about our kids’ communications skills”, when really we are creating and changing the real world everyday. Back in the eighties, when home phones started to become more popular and were finding their way into people’s homes, the adults of that generation thought that telephones would be the death of in person communication. As we fast forward thirty years later, it is found that people still get together in person and interact with each other. Technology, more specifically social media, gives people the opportunity to speak with each other from long distances and reconnect. Communication is not completely informal either. With these new forms of communication, there is an etiquette that is set and comes along with them. For example, while someone might type an essay with perfect grammar and post it on Facebook, if they wanted to do the same on Twitter they would simply tweet their emotions with a simple hashtag. There are set social norms with every new form of social media made, so communication is not completely informal. Lythcott-Haims also said “Let technology stimulate their curiosity, expand their creativity, deliver information, connect them to humans, and develop their independence, not become a crutch or a tool for permanent infantilizing.” Technology is only a crutch for those who do not use it wisely. For some, technology has given people the chance to advertise their businesses and be successful. There are some companies who mainly use social media and social media “stars” to get their business out there. People also use it to connect with one another and meet up in person. Countless people have made great friends online and whose main goal together is to come together and meet each other in person. Social media does not kill people’s desire to have in person interaction, it increases it. As for the people are hide behind social media, it gives them an outlet to express themselves. Those people who are shy in person flourish when using social media and it gives them new found courage to talk to people. Julie Lythcott-Haims had good intentions when responding to the troubled parents, but she was not looking at the full spectrum. She mainly focused on the thought negatives of social media and technology. But being an outsider herself, she does know the many advantages that technology has brought. The idea of technology ruining human interaction is no new thought but has shown nothing but positive results, so why do adults treat technology as a curse rather than the amazing tool and blessing it has been proven to be? The article “How To Raise A Parent on Technology,”by Mary Hossfeld, talks about how parents are way behind on how to use technology and teenagers are way ahead of them. Then the book “How To Raise A Parent on Technology,” by Lythcott-Haims about tips on parents with their children’s technology and whether or not to check up on them(social media, grades online, gps on child’s phone,ect.) Haims gives good points on each of the question she is asked. When asked whether or not to have a gps tracking app on their child’s phone and she responded with “It’s like they’re on a leash. Okay, yes, if you’re only going to use it to track them down in the case of an emergency,fine. But hasn’t our sense of what constitutes an “emergency” really changed? How do you build trust around where they go and what they do if you’re constantly checking up on them? It’s claustrophobic and crazy-making. So I’m on your kids’ side. Don’t do it.” With this response she teaching the parents to build a trust with their children. Another question asked was that parents have the power to check up on their children’s grades as often as they want is it a good thing and Haims responds with “It’s too much. When we check up on our kids’ grades weekly or daily, and then by extension comment upon the results to our kids, or worse, grill them, we teach our kids that all that matters are their grades and scores, not their learning, and that their worth as humans is a function of their grades and scores. We behave as if every assignment is a make-or-break moment for their future. Kids wither under that kind of pressure. It completely stresses them out and zaps a love of learning right out of them.” I think that yes it’s to much of a good thing as well because my parents always pressure me with my grades on why are these grades so down and can you picked them up and I got tired of that so I told them that I should worry about my grades. They stopped and we built a trust on that over time. All of these questions asked to Haims are anwsers with tips on how to treat the situation and I really liked how she took both the teen’s as well as the parent’s side with these questions. Overall this topic on How To Raise A Parent on Technology is to have a trust with their child and you can learn from each other’s. It seems that the concern of parents in this day and age is their lack of control over their children. The term helicopter parents is brought up frequently in this article. This term refers to adults who seem to be to concerned with the well being of their children to the point of boarder line manipulation. I believe that trying to take control and constantly monitor the decisions ones children make is a pestering thing with a very negative outcome. I have always been raised to due the best I can and know that as long as I have done that, nothing more can be expected of me. Knowing that what I do isn’t constantly being monitored by my mother has built a sense of trust between the two of us and makes me feel as though I owe nothing less than the best for both myself and her. When parents involve themselves in the schooling of their children to much, it builds a gap between what learning should feel like, and what learning actually is. By this I meant to say kids will associate education with something that must be done, something that is more of chore than it is a privilege. Education is something that should be important to the individual, because if it is not then what can we really expect kids to achieve. Once this is realized by “helicopter parents” maybe more kids will take a shot at applying themselves more. The general argument made by Julie Lythcott-Haims in her interview with Mary Hossfeld is that parents should understand the technology their children are using but not be overbearing about it. More specifically, Lythcott-Haims argues that though it is important to know what their children are doing, it is also important to not cross any boundaries by invading their children’s privacy and micromanaging them. She says,” Still, I want to give my kids rules and expectations along with privacy and independence. If they break my trust, then I’ll start checking in on them.” Through this answer, she is suggesting that a balance is to be made between making sure that children are being safe and responsible but still have the freedom to express themselves. By doing so, parents would be ensuring a trusting and healthy relationship with their kids. In my view, I think Lythcott-Haims is right because this is how I maintain a healthy relationship with my parents. My parents set rules and limits when I’m on my own. They trust that I’ll make smart choices and follow their rules. By knowing that they are trusting me, I feel more inclined to be responsible with what I do both on or off media. It is from personal experience that I fully agree with Lythcott-Haims In the passage talking about using technology to be better, smarter, more thoughtful parents, Mary Hossfeld brings up some good points I would like to respond too. She brings up that yes, people are pretty smart, but when it comes to basic things, they rely on their parents to do it for them. Instead of using technology in a smart way, people similar to those in the example will go out to great lengths to ask someone else instead of doing it themselves. People need to be good with their kids, and not only have them caught up to speed, but also have their children been using their technology they claim to know, to its best potential. We are coming into a new era of children being babied to a point that the devices they use constantly cannot even learn how to find an apartment because they don’t know how to use google maps. Parents need to start overseeing the usage of their children’s usage of phones, not just to see if they are doing anything with others, but to see if they know how to use it properly. This all comes down to common sense that technology can’t really teach people, which is where parents should be coming in to help further their children’s development. Leave a Reply Cancel reply Enter your comment here... Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Email (required) (Address never made public) Name (required) Website You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. ( Log Out / Change ) You are commenting using your Twitter account. ( Log Out / Change ) You are commenting using your Facebook account. ( Log Out / Change ) You are commenting using your Google+ account. ( Log Out / Change ) Cancel Connecting to %s Notify me of new comments via email.